January 20, 2011

Carnival Cruises & Acid Reflux



How do you like spending all your day in a confined space; the view out of a small window being the same every single day? Your quarters measure about 10" x 15" if you're lucky, and you see the same people all the time. Sounds like prison to me, no?

I've never understood what makes people book a trip on a cruise ship. And I won't even try anymore. I guess it has to do with being content and lazy, and - much more important - with being passive and letting things come to you vs. actively seeking them out. Because the moment you set foot on that ship, you can just turn off your brain cells, and live on auto-pilot. Kind of like the cruising spaceship in WALL-E, with all the fat people being numbed down to passive, lazy, naive, consuming beings.

So how do you differentiate one boat full of lazy people from the next one? Ah, it's all about the 'experience'! In Carnival terms - the 'family experience'! Someone here obviously tried to pull off a 'cool' approach, by having teenage kids actually - for the first time ever in human history - enjoy vacation with their parents during their puberty years.

Something comical came out of this though. I might be the only one with these thoughts, but I'd be surprised if that were true. "Mom just caught air!" does sound an awful lot like "Mom just passed air!" to me. Because - and let's be honest here - it is quite more common for a woman of her age to appear in either a commercial for Viagra or Cealis, talk seriously about retirement, or praise the advantages of Immodium to their hubby who just ate the wrong lunch food.

"Mom just caught/passed air!" And then the final blow horn sound you know from ships everywhere. Sounds an awful lot like a fart to me. Well done, Carnival.

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